I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
