my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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