i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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