the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
