God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I look better un-naked...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
