You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she told me i tasted like america
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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