Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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