I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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