Why are handjobs necessary in class?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
