At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
