Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Did I show you my penis last night?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
