I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
