Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just invented taco cereal.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
