Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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