dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize