You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
