I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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