Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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