so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
