that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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