I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
