It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
