what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
