whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
