okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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