I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
