he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
