my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
