hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
this will be a night to untag.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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