Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
