so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize