the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
