I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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