so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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