I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
