Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
