She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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