It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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