Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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