That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
