one might say we're banned from that church
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
