Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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