How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
