Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
