I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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