On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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