I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
