I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
