Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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