I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize