): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
