the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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