She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
