Whod you bang
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And then my night got REAL pukey
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
