I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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