so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
