forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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