If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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