Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
