Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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