If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
